BeeCharmer’s Buzz

Nice title huh?

Do you have any idea how much poo 2 dogs can produce  in the cold cold months of November, December and January?

I do not go outside when it’s cold. I do no outside work until it warms up for more than a day or two. It’s been warmish here for the past week so I went out to do the much dreaded ”spring cleaning”  poo collection. BB and I can usually do the entire yard in 10 minutes or less. He and I went out last night for a half an hour each (it got cold) and barely made a dent. We cleaned just where we needed to walk to the gate and the garage. It will take all four of us an hour to do a decent job, 1 1/2 hours each to do a good job.

 Why did I neeeeed a big dog? Yuck!

Birthday Dinner

 The Big One on the couch this morning.

 The view outside of Stats today.

blow BC, blow !

 Proud Queen Bee and her drones.

 My booty. In the box is a cement mold kit for making garden markers. The clear plastic thingys are molds to go over veggies when they grow to make them into specific shapes. (Thanks Lelo for showing me these) . Notice my awesome sewing machine?

 The perfect sunset on a perfect day.

<fingers crossed> I hope it continues.

If you have read my blog for any length of time. You know my life isn’t even close to perfect. I’ve been known to curse a sh*tstorm about the fires Honey and I are constantly putting out around here. But this has been an awesome week. <keeping an eye out for the other shoe>

1. My new job. A dream job, for a plant geek like me, with room for advancement relatively quickly.

2. DD got straight A’s

3. A fantastic dinner out, complete with wine that was so yummy.

4. I got my new “bee” necklace from an Australian Etsy seller. Damn it’s cute.

5. Honey is having a very decent week at work, money wise.

6. Neither dog has crapped or vomited on the carpet.

7. Today is my Birthday.

8. Honey made me the best Chantilly cake for my Bday.

9. The kids got me a fondue set. 5 years I have been asking for one.

10. I now own a Bernina sewing machine.

11. I met a new friend while shopping for Honey’s Vday gift. Cool artsy chick with killer hair and super nice.

12. My party is Saturday. Tempura, Steak  bits w/ sesame ginger dipping sauce,  fondue (cheese of some sort) and Chantilly cake.  BYOB and plan on staying over if you plan on drinking. Everyone’s invited.

13. Blondie is doing my hair Monday.

14 I think there’s enough money in the budget for a manicure.

Ahhhh, what a nice week.

Friday 2-08-08

High temp 50 Low temp35 Winds SW @ 25mph

I am marking this day on my calender, here in my blog and indefinitely in my mind.

I am still sick, sick, sick, but adrenaline got me out of bed earlier than I knew I could rise. One cup of coffee is all I needed, which is also a little unusual. I showered and dressed in the best “non dressy” outfit I could pull together for a job interview. Jeans, black leather boots, long-sleeve T, and a super cute hoodie my sister bought me for Christmas. I put on my “butch” makeup, which is very neutral and fresh looking, lots of deoderant and enough basil body spray to eliminate any lingering smoke odors  that  have occurred during the long car ride to the country. I rocked my hair out and put on my watch and my beautiful new silver bee necklace (my birthday present to myself).

I got to the research station right on time and was escorted to a large and terribly hot conference room (I was wearing long johns in case they took me on a tour of the facility- mistake). I was joined by a very young Plant Pathologist PhD (my age I think) and our family friend who is his right hand woman.

The Phd asked me about my background, education, goals and interests. I spewed every bit of agricultural knowledge and ideas I have gained in the past few years. His jaw dropped over and over again. Seriously, no joke, no exaggeration. I was in my element this morning, surrounded by people who like, understand and study plants. I have no idea how I pulled this off as sore as my throat and ears were. Did I mention it was sooo hot in that room? I don’t know if it was really that hot- it may have been the fever.

My interview lasted about an hour, maybe a little more. In the end I not only got this really cool temporary summer job but the PhD told me he was going to apply for additional grant money to hire me full time and permanently. He said he just needed to find enough budget money to make sure I had full benefits and good permanent pay considering I will be a college grad in December 08. It was an unbelievable interview. I mentioned how I had hurt my back several years ago and it had just lately healed. I mentioned I was worried about reinjuring myself with the heavy lifting that is usually required in the agricultural field. I was assured I would always have help with lifting over 20 pounds.

I told him I couldn’t start until May 5 which is a month and a half after planting time, he said no problem. I told him I had to be back at school Aug 28, he said he’s find a way to get me credits and a paycheck for fall semester. He mentioned a dollar amount for my pay, his right hand woman told him “you try raising 2 children on XX amount, think higher”. He didn’t flinch. He said he would try rearranging some budget money to make sure I could afford to take this entry level job. He said he could work things to pay me through the University to guarantee partner benefits (which are not available through the federal government) and pay for my Masters and PhD degrees (for which I will be doing my own research at my job and being paid to do it) and the huge wow- will allow my children to attend this university tuition free!!! Can you believe this???? I can barely comprehend the whole thing. I could be a PhD within 7 years and make really good money working for the gov or even better money working in the ag industry.

Ooh, I forgot some of the best parts. This summer research is on ORGANIC seed treatment and I threw out an idea that they said they wanted to try. PhD also said he would be writing grant proposals for organic research just for me, I am this guy’s grant money dream come true. Organics is growing as fast as the local wine industry and there is money just waiting for someone to spend on research. I told him I had pages of grant proposal ideas that I have collected over the years- his eyes bugged out.

Finally came the tour of the greenhouses and labs I would be working in when I wasn’t in the field. I actually started crying when I saw the seed storage room for just 2 projects. It was huge! Floor to ceiling seeds. The lady, who is also a friend of the family, laughed and said “why in the world would you cry over seed storage?” Through tears I told her “this is a plant geek’s dream come true”. She said “awwwwww”,  gave me a hug and said “that is exactly why I thought of you for this position, I am going to retire within 7 years and I want someone who loves this stuff as much as I do to take my job when I leave.” OMG? huh? retire? your job? what? It turns out this is some elaborate plan to prep me to take over the head researcher position for the USDA. Which is REAL money. Real like, F my X and his Denali and Armani underwear, I am sooo getting the farm and Honey will not have to go to her morally corrupt workplace ever again.

This is HUGE. All of it. This is the absolutely best day I have had since my 2 children were born, coming out to myself, New Orleans, or honey declaring her love for me. I have been high as a kite all day- and I took no cold medicine.

 ( i know this is a long ass blog, but it’s nowhere near done. If you need a break from all this crappysappyhappy stuff I understand take a break come back if you want to.)

On my way home from the interview I stop by the farm to see my mom, sister and step-dad. We had one of those holiday movie special  kind of moments.  I them about the interview and thanked each one of them for their part in my getting my dream job. My step father is a scientist, he told me to take things step by step. Which is how I got through chemistry and math classes. The advice also helped me to not be too impatient about putting together the farm business. Now the pieces are falling into place. My sister took a job with the same place a few months ago, which is huge for her too but for other reasons. She put my name in her bosses ear about the job which is why they wanted to meet me in person. Lastly but never least, my mother is one of my best sounding boards for my troubles and ideas. She sees things in the same way and it’s easy to get my points across to her, and she gives very good advice in times of crisis. Not to mention she’s so kind and so generous with her time and extra money. I have a pretty damn good mom. If it weren’t for the whole JW thing they would be the perfect family. But you take the good with the bad I suppose. I’m sure they have something similar to say about me. Karma love ‘em.

OK so lovey dovey time is over for about 30 minutes (the time it takes to drive home) from my new job. (that’s really cool to say) I walk in the house at about 1pm and Honey is waiting on the couch for me to get home. She couldn’t sleep until she heard what happened. She was up all night at work, poor girl. I tell her everything. guy loved me, wants me full time permanently, pay, benefits, kids tuition, happy family moment. It was a blur we ended up crying and hugging and laughing. It was amazing.

We went to an amazing dinner to celebrate. We took along Mr. 80’s who is just my favorite person, Honey’s too. We drank too much wine, made friends with the wine steward and the waitress, ate seafood and burnt cream ( I got the recipe) OMG it was the best day ever! If I died tonight I would die happy (  gawd I hope I don’t die).

Finally I came down from my adrenaline high when we got home and fell asleep curled up on the couch, which I never do.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Now its 6 am and I cannot sleep. It’s starting all over again.

Happy days, happy days.

May Karma shine on you all today.

Big Kisses

2 stories for you today. I will try my best to keep them short. Although I cannot guarantee anything.

Story #1 (For thegifted1)

When Honey and I first met and were spilling our histories out to each other, I told her about how they put me in a class called “transition” in what was suppose to be 1st grade. I told her about a classmate who got me to taste paste (which tasted nothing like it’s yummy wintergreen smell) and about how I cried when the big red bow on my Winnie the Pooh dress came untied right before class pictures.

Let me explain “transition” class to you. It’s 1st grade for “at risk” kids. Children of divorce, drug users, alcoholics, kids with ADD (they use to call it hyperactivity in the early 70’s) and the kids who in kindergarten were just socially inept. There was a lot of one on one time with adult class helpers as well as with the teachers. It was a good class for me. I needed the extra attention at that time. My Mom and Dad had gotten divorced and were both dating new marriage projects. Both were in their early 20’s and experimenting with drugs and alcohol. There was some abuse going on at my my babysitter’s place. I was already a mess at age 5 or 6. I needed the positive attention from the Transition teachers.

After Transition I went into normal 2nd grade and did exceedingly well ( I forgot to mention this part to Honey). By third grade, I told her, I was put into “special” classes until 8th grade. These classes were usually mixed grade classes. 2-3 grade or 3-4-5 grade or all middle schoolers together. Sometimes they shipped us to another school once a week for special projects.

I always refer to these classes as “special”. Well it turns out for 4 of the 5 years we were together, Honey has believed I was in “Special Ed” classes. She felt so sorry for me that I was incorrectly diagnosed with a learning disability. She couldn’t figure out how they could put me in classes for slow learners when I am now the person who picks up new things like some pick up a cold. How pitiful she must have thought my early school years were.

When I told her about how we had learned how to make curry and speak some Indian (or one of the many languages that India uses),  how we made atomic models in 3rd grade, and how we designed a safer playground set up (we used an engineer and a architect for this project) and it was built for our school, she said “they did all of this with the special ed class?” I’m like yeah, it was a really involved class. She says “I had no idea special ed kids could do all that, that’s amazing.”

That’s when I realized she thought “special” meant they made us all wear helmets to school, or ride the short bus. I rolled laughing. When I told her “No- not special ed, they were special classes for gifted children” she was floored. For 4 years she thought I was made to wear a helmet in class and wrongly labeled with a learning disability.

*************

Story #2

Yesterday was a very good day, considering I was  dead on my feet all day. Man did I feel like sh*t, in bed by 7pm. I missed my stats class (the prof doesn’t seem to be very happy about it) but I did have a great day. My mom called to tell me she knew a lady at the local agriculture research center who is desperately looking for someone to work as an organic field researcher for the USDA through the summer. Uh, hello, that’s what I do for fun. She told me to give the lady (who I know) a call and ask about the job.

It turns out, yes the position is open and I am who the lady thought of when the job became available. They are willing to let me start when I finish this semester. The job goes until August, right before I start back to school. The job pays, and I will have my foot in the door to get my Master’s, and my PhD, through them. Not to mention I have my foot in the door to help shape organic policy and sustainable agriculture guidelines. Uh hello? This could lead to my dream job. The kind that will support the Farm and my family, with benefits, 401k, medical insurance and possibly free college educations for my kiddos (if it turns out I work for the University).

When I called she said all I have to do is meet with her and the PhD in charge and the job is most likely mine- they are in a bind. Can you say “Woooo freaking woooo” ?!?

Oh and my furikake arrived from the Japanese mail order food store.  It was so yummy, at least until I fell asleep in my bowl of rice.

Have a good one everybody, Karma is shining on us all.

aww crap- I forgot about my OBCC (obligatory Brandi Carlile Comment). Here it is:

Brandi Carlile is an absolutely amazing performer. Her sex appeal is felt throughout any venue. Her voice is like velvet. She used to be an avid fisherperson, I don’t know if she still is, considering how busy she must be. Here’s a picture I stole borrowed from http://www.againtoday.com/. Hope you enjoy it.

Oh and don’t forget to weigh in here on a PNW women’s weekend this summer.

That’s a shame. This chick rocks, pure talent and beauty. And yes I have known her in my lifetime. She is a good person and a true professional. She was born a rock star. It is undeniable. See her in person if you get the chance. If you want to impress her, don’t throw panties at the stage, try fishing hats. seriously.

 The first is a video of a song featured on Grey’s Anatomy, from her latest album.  I give you “The Story”. Have fun, but don’t fall in love, I believe she is taken.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq-ZmAYLeB8

We were right behind the people who filmed this one and put it on YouTube. Small world, isn’t it?

DD and I took the trip to see her in Spokane. We both fell in love a little bit and DD is pretty darned straight. The audio is not great but it reminds me when she used to cover “Got You Where I Want You” by The Flies, which was my favorite, ever, of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6zcPkuxlvI

Peace

Honey’s grandmother fell and broke her shoulder a few days ago in the middle of the whole work drama. She had to go to the nursing home to recuperate, leaving Grandpa H alone in the house.  They have been married for 61 years I think. Honey and her sister went down to visit with her and convince her to get some help for Grandpa H at home or at very  least as soon as she gets out of the nursing home. They need some help and we are too far away for daily stuff.  It will be a bit of a fight I am sure. I just couldn’t go. Nursing homes and hospitals give me the heeby jeebies, big time. Panic attack kind. I’ll go with her next time, I really want to see “Grandma Rose”, she is a total kick in the pants and I adore her for all her eccentricities. (Omg I just spelled that right- unbelievable) She is a storyteller too. Someday I’ll share one or two with you. She wrote a couple of books for the family. Some of the stories are unbelievable but she swears they are true. I’ll see if I can get one out to you all soon.

I wish she didn’t think computers were the devil.. She would get a kick out of some of the stories here.

Peace everybody.

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh

Do you hear that wooosh of air past your ear?  That’s just me taking a deep breath. Maybe it was hormones. I still don’t think it was, though. Maybe my anxiety is back and I am unaware of it ( I don’t think so). But man this week has been  scary and frustrating.

Everything seems to be working out fine now. Honey’s work has decided to take the steps necessary to keep her safe. I feel so much better. But we are still documenting everything- just in case. What’s the saying? Better safe than sorry? I tend to believe that one.

Today was lively to say the least, but in the end things are exactly how we need them to be. Safe and sane.

DD had a drama production tonight. OMG they were fabulous. DD has a voice on her, its amazing that she can sing like she does when she was raised by a slightly tone deaf, Melissa Etheridge wanna-be. But she was raised with alot of music, she has an idol who  had a lot of influence on her as a small child. She hung out and jammed at our house a few times and she hung out with my closest friend and his family, for a year or so. So DD had plenty of time to absorb the rock-star vibe from her. It shows.

Anywhoo- DD is our superstar today, she also informed us that she has a 4.0 this semester while taking a very heavy load. Two foreign languages, chemistry, English and geometry. Drama was her only fun class. PE sucked the life out of the poor child, she hates PE.  I am a very very proud Mama. She is a very happy girl, star of stage and screen, brilliant scholar and she never has to take PE again in high-school. Wooohooo party for her.

Alright, I am going to bed for the next 12 hours as this week has kicked my a**.  Just wanted ya’ll to know nothing bad has happened and give you the good news about DD and Honeys situation.

Have a good one everybody.

seriously. I think we have a slam dunk, “hostile work environment” case just waiting to explode. Already have the evidence and witnesses (about 8 years worth). We are just waiting for the final nail to go into the coffin (bad metaphor).  It’s a little scary. We could really use some legal advice or references. I don’t think I want to talk to anyone local. I am hoping for high powered, cilvil rights type with a Seattle or Portland Address . If the attorney were family, that would be a bonus. But then again I don’t know what is right here.

Ugh I have to vent. So Sorry for the cerebral diarrhea that is bound to spill out about………….uh, now.

There will probably be some serious cursing coming up next, but I will try to contain myself.SFD! (If you don’t know what that is, you don’t need to know). The other night Honey comes home from work early, like 4 hours early. I am asleep.  She gives me a kiss when she gets home, as usual. I wake up and chat with her for a minute. She tells me this story about what happened at her morally corrupt place of work. (repeating slowly *one more year, only one more year*) OK let me just say weid sh*t happens at that place. Things that are unspeakable of in corporate America , happen in this place all the time. It is the cesspool of human existance. Except for a select group of sweet, cool and smart people we have fallen in love with over the years.

Back to her story. She was threatened by a customer.The customer in question is a regular and a thug. Usually he is quiet and respectful but that night he was on a bender.  He spoke loudly and vulgarly of a weapon and how he was going to use it. General enough? 2 other customer were nearby, but unfortunately neither spoke English.  A manager was not 24″ away from  Honey at the time. Honey then talks to to manager in front of customer, there was no other way to talk to him. Believe me. Manager asks man to be polite and walks away, that’s it.  You think that is the end of story, right? Nope, gets worse. Honey is on break and is mad as hell and near tears. Honey asks why they throw someone out for calling another girl a B*, and this guy gets to stay after verbally threatening and harrasing her.  We don’t think it’s a gay thing, we think it is because the customer in question has a lot of cash at his disposal?  Read between the lines. 

Now what to do? Could this person really do something to her or our family? Why didn’t somebody at work protect her- just in case the guy was serious? And….this isn’t the first time. The other times are just as bad, just in different context.

Not to mention I quit the same place because of my creepy supervisor who insisted on calling me lezzie and dyke- you know in the “fun” way.

SFD SFD SFD

I want her out of that place- I am so over hearing these stories. If she quitsher job, I will have to quit school and we never stop working for minimum wage. Honey is a good and generous and smart and witty person who does not deserve to be treated this way. Ugh. What do I do?

Years ago my father had a massive heart attack. The kind that should have killed him. He lived and after repairing the blocked arteries was left with only 35% of his heart muscle working. They offered him a chance to get a mechanical heart, to extend his life at least another year. He was at first a terrible candidate, so sick from lack of blood flow that his internal organs began to give up.  He pulled through being too ornery to die. With the help of antibiotics and blood thinners he became strong enough to handle the surgery.

For a little over a year, his heartbeat was audible over the TV as the mechanical heart pumped blood through his veins. Sometimes (after he healed) I would lay my head on his tummy and listen to the mechanical heart. It was like hearing one of those stuffed toys you put in a crib that plays the mama’s heart beat.It was somehow strangely soothing.

But he got sick again. One of the tubes, that stuck through his side, became infected. The Dr.s said they had to remove the mechanical heart or he would die from the infection, but then again he couldn’t live without it. They talked about putting in a second mechanical heart, but that is unheard of. They decided to place him on the transplant list, but he was not an easy match. Something to do with antibodies. They patched him up best they could and sent him home to wait for the call. I think it was less than a month before he got the call. He showed up at the hospital only to be sent away- he had a fever. It was very low grade but they do not mess around with less than healthy specimens- it could mess their numbers up- besides there is someone else that can use that organ that is in great shape and just as anxious as you are. It was fair but it was disappointing. Within the week - total freak coincidence, according to Dr’s, another match came up. This time was healthy enough to accept a donor heart. This February is his “real birthday”, as he puts it. This year will be the 8th anniversary of his heart transplant.

That was such a stressful time I thought my family was going to implode. I had just come out, gotten a divorce, moved to Hawaii, let me just say I was stressed to my gills. Just drowning in anxiety. My Step-mom was inconsolable half the time and a tiger the other half. She ran the operation (the comings and goings of family, the money, what needed to be done to get my dad home, what had to be done at home) like a well oiled machine. I just followed instructions and wandered around like an agitated zombie. I was so stressed that I got lost in the corridors of this huge hospital and had a panic attack and started bawling. It was a TV drama moment.

My SM, the General, took the time watch out for all of us kids too. She knew I was reaching the end of my rope so she gave me one of the pills the Dr had prescribed to her to help her deal with this traumatic event.  I took the pill no questions asked. My SM decided she wanted to stop and pick up candy, from See’s, for her employees who were doing an excellent job taking care of the businesses while she and Dad stayed at the hopital 200 miles away. I went along- when you spend that much time in a hospital you find alot of reasons to go outside and see people who are healthy.

So we get to See’s and go inside. It’s right before Valentines Day so the place is PACKED shoulder to shoulder. with a line of about 50 in this tiny candy shop. I am looking at the display and I see a box of candy my very elderly Grandmother (who has since passed) would love.

My Grandma was an old southern uhh well she was very controlling. Our own version of Rose Kennedy. She was the  matriarch of the “White Trash Kennedy’s”, as I sometimes use in reference to my dysfunctional family.  I’ve never met a person that had a good thing to say about her but I was her favorite grand-kid. Go figure. She rode me so hard I should have saddle scars. She was a little bit Katharine Hepburn and a whole lot Mama on “Mama’s Place”.

But anyways- Being her dutiful understudy and heir to the throne, I always wanted to please her.

This is where things got dicey, the pill really kicked in. I couldn’t see whether there were nuts in the candy (Grandma couldn’t eat nuts)  on display so I put one knee on the shelf to boost my self up a little bit to look at it more closely. Just when I went to reach for it to bring it closer to eye level (it was pretty high it turns out) the counter/shelf gave out and I knocked over the whole display and shattered the clear plastic sheeting over the display box of candy. OMFG. My heart stopped, the pill decided it was too weak to stop the anxiety and retreated like a coward. Everything went into slow motion. The Manager came out and was horrible to me about paying for the display. I was actually dying from embarrassment. I told my SM I would wait in the car. She stayed and waited all the way through that line to get her candy (It really is that good). The whole time she was inside I was imagining the cops showing up, me bawling it wasn’t my fault, explaining how stressed out I was and the pill and- omg I took someone elses prescription- I am going to jail.

Finally SM got in the car and asked what was wrong. I told her. She just laughed and said “If they didn’t want people climbing on the shelf to get at their candy, there should have been a sign saying so”. I was shocked, maybe it wasn’t that bad, maybe I didn’t have to commit shamed based suicide. Wow, cool for me. Then she pipes up “Besides that was F*ing funny”.

 My near death and the following nervous breakdown was worth it to give her something to laugh about during the hardest time my family has ever gone through.  It gets brought up occasionally at family dinners everyone rolls with laughter, even me.