BeeCharmer’s Buzz

Then what the hell would you call it?

 Since we moved into this house 4 years ago our utility bill has increased by more than 70% while our usage has remained the same and in some months much less. In fact some months we are able to not use the furnace or air conditioning at all, but that doesn’t seem to affect our averaged budget plan bill. It goes up every 6 months even with our attempts to save energy. We dont have a regular light bulb in the house. We have converted them all to CF’s but have seen no decrease in our electricity bill. ack- I really hate the CF’s they are so harsh and hard to read by, and my make up hasn’t looked right since I put them in.

As far as gas prices- can you believe what is going on? I drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee (yes I know, but it is paid for and I figure it is more wasteful to get rid of it while it runs than to drive it until the wheels fall off), it gets terrible gas mileage. I have cut my driving to a minimum. No more “going for a ride” or unplanned trips to the store. I have become a home body. I only go out with the Jeep when absolutely necessary, an yet our gas budget has almost doubled in the 5 years T and I have been together. Part of that is my new job 30 miles away, but that does not explain all of it. Btw I am will be taking the bus to work starting May 1.

Groceries have also gone up considerably. I suppose that starts with the farmer’s need to spread petroleum based fertilizers and pesticides on his crops and the many many miles our foods have to travel before landing on the local grocery store’s shelves.

Even TP is more expensive than ever, again probably having to do with the cost of transportation to it’s point of sale.

Wages certainly are not keeping up with the cost of living. But don’t worry people- This is NOT a recession according to GWB. Why then is that man convinced that an extra 600 bucks will jump start this economy? 600 bucks that my children will be repaying for their entire lives while GW and friends pad their wallets during his last hurrah as President. The whole thing just chaps my a$$.

What really kills me is that the income from my new job will not be “extra” it will simply keep us living the way we already do, albeit without as much stress. No toys or trips for the family, just enough to keep us in poptarts and electricity. ack!

or

Should I Kill Myself Now?

or perhaps

I Did this to Myself

 <deep sigh> Let me tell you about last weekend. Honey and I went to visit Grandma Rose in the rehabilitation center (pronounced nur-sing home), which is a story in itself but, ack, is not pretty. What’s wrong with this country when 6k a month doesn’t even buy you a little dignity? I digress.

On the front doors of said rehabilitation center, there were signs warning “We are experiencing a flu outbreak. If you are ill, please do not enter”. That was Saturday. By Monday, I was drowning in snot with a fever and the full body ache. By Tuesday I wasn’t sure that I didn’t have food poisoning (read- I spent a lot of time in the bathroom). It’s now the following Sunday. Today was the first day I have been human since last week. I spent the day in the yard, which was actually very nice.  It only gets better from here, right? Nope.

We also quit smoking this week (4 days 23 hours 47 minutes ago to be exact). I’ve quit smoking before. Each time was extremely hard and I eventually gave up. This time I figure, I am in the best place of my life. Things are going well and I am stronger than I have ever been; this is the time to go for it. Wowza- I underestimated the addiction. It on top of being sick has kicked my a$$. Both Honey and I are quitting and our nerves are on the surface of our skins. If we make it through this, there is definitely hope for us. We are like bears in a cage, snarling and posturing. It’s kind of ugly. I liken the experience of quitting smoking somewhere in between chemotherapy and heroin withdrawals. (btw I have no experience with either- it’s just what I imagine). Everything hurts, not hungry (except the constant need for sugar), don’t want to move, all over crappy feeling, kinda zombie-ish, but with a wicked temper and self pity up the wazoo. Ick. I hope it ends soon for the whole family’s sake. the only thin that makes Honey feel better is pounding away at the drums on Rock Band, the only things that make me feel better are flan and hot baths.  Honey took her nephew to the store to get me flan, which he thought was totally weird. She explained to him that I was pregnant, having cravings and experiencing wild mood swings. He (the darling boy) believed her!

You know what else? My face has reverted to my teenage years. No, my wrinkles have not miraculously left me. Instead I’m having a major acne outbreak (you think this might be stress related?). I look like a meth addict. Red icky scabby things all over my face. WTF?

You know what else? I have fallen so far behind in school that I have to drop a class just to make it through the semester. Ack!

You know what else? BB is having trouble in school. Both with reading and a macho male teacher (read- he was a nerd in high-school, now he uses his power over adolescent boys to make him feel good about himself).  Teachers conference in the foreseeable future! Ack!

You know what else? Ex bought himself a Harley, and a Bose sound machine thingy, and the BIG ipod and a shuffle. He and his new girl (who is absolutely darling) now have 2 big screen plasma TV’s, brand new furniture, everything new in the kitchen, 3 or 4 newer computers, 2 Harley’s, a Denali, and a brand new Forerunner. Not to mention a pristine 65 GTO which I bought for the SOB so he would finally give me a divorce! This is the same guy who can’t afford his portion of the childrens medical and dental care or even pay all his child support on time. Sometimes I wait 4 months for him to pay the extra 100 he offered to pay the last time he took me to court. OMGGGGGGG.

I am so over it!

Thank you for indulging my pity party, I’m pretty sure I’ll be better tomorrow.

Let me leave you with a happy thought.

10 bucks for anyone (who isn’t related to me) that knows this actress and the film she was in, that is one of my all time favs. Seriously, I’ll send you 10 bucks if you can name her and the movie. One entry per person please.

you were younger? 21-23 ish?

When you knew everything there was to know about life, about people, about relationships? Your way was right and everyone else’s way was wrong, especially old boring ass stable committed folks. Life was about friends and drinking and talking shit. You defended your positions passionately even in the face of opposing fact.

Your life was a mess really, you hadn’t found your voice or your passion yet. You had an inkling that things were not right, but you shoved that to the back of the closet behind your high school skeletons. Having fun was more important finding your true self, or offering something to society as a whole.

You may have had some education but absolutely no life experience. You did things that went against your true nature in the spirit of partying or keeping friends. Things you had to address and pay for before you could really grow up.

ahhhh youth, I do not miss it one bit, except for having perky boobs

Nice title huh?

Do you have any idea how much poo 2 dogs can produce  in the cold cold months of November, December and January?

I do not go outside when it’s cold. I do no outside work until it warms up for more than a day or two. It’s been warmish here for the past week so I went out to do the much dreaded ”spring cleaning”  poo collection. BB and I can usually do the entire yard in 10 minutes or less. He and I went out last night for a half an hour each (it got cold) and barely made a dent. We cleaned just where we needed to walk to the gate and the garage. It will take all four of us an hour to do a decent job, 1 1/2 hours each to do a good job.

 Why did I neeeeed a big dog? Yuck!

Two  shots of NyQuil

won’t help me out.

there’s gallons of green stuff

comin out from my snout.

I can’t sleep a wink

It’s even harder to think,

I wonder if tequila might

just put me out.

<applause>

Goodnight everybody!

Which one of you  blogholes mentioned worm composting? Was it you, RSG? Lelo? who was it?

I have now logged about 14 hours into researching the subject, complete with plans for Honey to build me a worm house.

Do you know how much trouble you are getting me into? Honey’s build list is as long as my arm. I am also having trouble sleeping, dreaming of worms and compost all night. Geek moment. Yes I know.  I can’t help it.

Please, No more interesting blogs about green living, sustainable agriculture or interesting food plants. I am afraid my head will explode.

I will of course continue my vermiculture research, because it is way cool.

Oh and check this out. Thinking it may be a winner in the cool weather garden.

romanesco broccoli

P.S. Blogholes= cool chicks 

We are in the midst of losing our intended farmstead. Family health and aging issues are making it almost a certainty that farmstead will be used to fund a retirement in the next year or so. We will most certainly lose it. We wont be ready to buy it ourselves for at least 5 years. ugh. Even if we could squeeze out the cash to make a down-payment we can’t move the kids out of town while they are in school. Just can’t do it. They were not raised to be farm kids. They are city kids through and through. If they plan on living with us after high-school they will have to adjust, but now is their time. I have no plans to further disrupt their childhoods. If they were all for it,of course, I would happily oblige them.

Honey might disagree for financial reasons but she enjoys the farm as much as I do.

Now when I get anxious to start farming, I’ll have to repeat to myself “slow and steady wins the race” and relax into knowing everything I am now doing (school, research and experimentation)  only adds validity that we can pull this off. Then I can just enjoy the ride. What’s the other saying? “It’s the journey that counts”?

No harm, I guess. We will just start poking our noses around some other places. There’s one by the river that I have always joked was “my farm”. An elderly man lives there alone now, maybe I should pop in and make friends.

Ah well, I’m sure we will find another place with as much potential for growth. sigh.

literally!

Tonight Honey and I played “The Farming Game”. If you are not familiar with this board game here’s the premise, taken straight from the introduction in the “rules” booklet.

“each player starts with 10 acre in hay and 10 acres in grain….20 acres is not a large enough farm to make a living for a family, so each player must also have a part-time job in town. With each completed trip around the board you receive $5000 in wages from your job to plough back into the farm. The object of the game is to build your farm large enough to be able to quit your job in town, come home to be your own boss, and farm full time.”

Along the way you harvest your crops, pay farm operating expenses and get hit by a number of farming disasters, i.e. coddling moths in apple trees and the bottom dropping out of the cattle market and even Mt. St. Helens herself.

I freaking love this game. Another dork moment, yes I know. I can’t help it. The problem is - I always lose. My harvester breaks down, my hay gets rained on, my cherries split, I get coddling moth, my cattle get mad cow disease and have to be destroyed. All the while Honey gets a contract with Welches for her grapes, Her uncle dies and leaves her 20 acres of hay, and that bitch St. Helens blows, but misses her and makes her hay harvest worth double what it normally would be.

Long story short, I am the farmer in this family. I am the one who loves this game. Why do I always lose? Honey says its just bad luck. Maybe its a sign that I shouldn’t farm. I don’t know but it really pisses me off. I lost in 20 minutes tonight, usually it takes a couple hours to lose. I don’t think I am a sore loser I just think the odds should be good that I could win 1/20. But it hasn’t happened yet. Honey is threatening not to play with me anymore, but who would quit playing a game they are sure to win? Not her. I’ll let you know how I do next game night. I have a plan.

It feels like Friday Ugh, one more day to go.  I suppose it’s been an easy week as far as school goes, but I am so out of practice. This is not my normal sleep/wake schedule. I am a night owl. I don’t want to catch worms (no offense to any worms in the audience). I was so out of it this morning that without thinking I poured Bailey’s in my coffee instead of my usual “fake” cream.  Being on a budget and having a thing about wasting- I drank it anyways. Does that make me an alcoholic?

2 classes and a dentist appointment today. One of the classes is Entomology taught by a man who is a self described “ex-hippie” who now studies the toxicology of pesticides. Not sure he and I will hit it off. Hippie- yeah! Pesticides- bad, bad,bad!

**Off topic**

It’s probably a good thing I wasn’t a a consenting adult in the 60’s. I would have either married John Lennon or ended up living in a commune. If I’d married John at least the Beatles wouldn’t have split up because of me.  Yes I realize I’m a lesbian, but John would have been the exception. Can you imagine? hehe I said “Imagine”.

**Back on topic**

My dentist appoointment today is to fill 2 cavities. My anxiety level is rising- good thing I had that morning shot of Bailey’s.

I hope your week is going faster than mine.

In my blog I advocate using Dave Ramsey’s techniques for getting out of debt and gaining financial security. It is sound advice and simple to follow. There is no worrying about which credit card has a higher interest rate or balance. You pay off the smallest first and apply the extra money to the next smallest debt and so on. It’s called snowballing. There are other financial self help professionals out there, like “sister” Suzie Orman, I just think DR’s plan is much simpler to follow.

I do however have some problems with DR and his FPU. FPU is a class that goes for several weeks teaching the basics of his program and allowing people to get together to find solutions for their financial issues. It costs around 200 for a couple to attend the program which is usually held at a local church.

When Honey and I first read DR’s book and were getting serious about getting our finances under control we decided we wanted to attend FPU for the camaraderie and support. Long story short, because we were not a straight couple we were told we would have to pay for the class individually, doubling the cost and out of our budget. Our feeling were a little hurt and our “pride” was also hurt. Honey contacted the leader of the local FPU and was told it might be better if we bought the course and followed it alone in our own home. Being the out and proud women we are, we called the national FPU number to complain about the discrimination we were being subjected to. They were no better at the national level, again suggesting we buy the material and use it ourselves in our own home.

That’s when we decided to use the book to map out our own plan,  block out all the conservative christian talk we heard on his radio program and use the information we gained from the close minded right wing to benefit us, the liberal minded left wing. Republicans are known for being the “money” party so we’ve decided to beat them at their own game and use their knowledge to benefit our community.

It’s working so far. Giving us the opportunity to donate money to those who support our equal rights and social change. Yeah for us!