BeeCharmer’s Buzz

I was sharing a couple of my favorite poems with my friend, RSG, when I remembered this story. Honey is going to kill me for sharing this. I am going to take my chances, I think I can take her. First, I want to share the poems with all of you. They are so wonderful, probably written by elementary school children as we found them on the walls of The Kennedy School in Portland. The Kennedy School, for those who are not familiar, is one of several old buildings that McMennemin’s Brewery has purchased and renovated into darling hotels/movie theaters/etc., complete with restaurants and bars. Each building has it’s own character and interesting art work relating to the buildings’ past lives. At the Kennedy School each old classroom is now a guest room, the cafeteria is of course the restaurant, the principals office is a small bar for smokers, the gym/auditorium is used for large events and dances. It’s a really cool place. The poems:

I love you little

I love you big

I love you like

A little pig

and

I love you like an apple

I love you like a plum

I’d love you even more

If you weren’t so gosh darn dumb!

Cute huh? I bought Honey a little glass pig for our 6 month anneversary. It sits on top of the computer, looking back at me as I write. Ok Here goes nothing (Karma help me)

On our second out of town trip together, Honey and I stayed at the Kennedy School. We stayed out late with Honey’s Cousin and his sweet girlfriend the first night we were there. We had a great time downing lemon drops like they were kool aid. We all went back to our room ( an old classroom) where we laughed forever about the weird little cloak room attached to our sleeping area. Now I’m not sure what was so funny about it, but we were hammered and “cloak room” just got us rolling.

We woke up the next morning hung over and needed coffee to help recuperate. Being the thoughtful butch I am, I went to fetch coffee for my darling. Ugh it took all of my strength to get down the halls to the restaurant. It seemed so long. As I got back to the room I realized I didn’t take both keys to get back into the room. There were two doors to unlock and I only took one key.

Now you have to imagine this old school set up. One door opens to a small hallway that contains three more doors (each a classroom). I didn’t have the key to the outer door. So I had to knock loudly for Honey to let me in. Honey rolled out of bed in her tank top (nothing else) opened the first door and used her foot to keep it open as she stretched to open the second . OK so picture honey half dressed spread eagle across the small hallway reaching for the door. Then her foot slipped and the door to our room slammed shut. All I heard was “oh shit!” the the second door opened, but just barely. I slipped in to see my baby, white as a ghost and scrunched into a sitting fetal position trying to cover her pieces and parts. OK it was funny and I did snicker a little but then I became “Super Butch” and took off my sweatshirt and wrapped it around bottom half, opened the door and ran down the hallway for the attendance office (the lobby) to get another key.

The woman at the desk reluctantly gave me the key, I had no ID and only knew our room as the one with the frog nursery rhyme stenciled on the wall. Turns out it was “Mr. Frog’s” room. Whatever, I was in a huge hurry to rescue my girl from being publicly humiliated when the other couples staying in our hallway decided to get their morning coffee as well. I looked like maniac, running down the hall in yesterdays makeup, a white tank top, no bra and bed head yelling “I am coming, Honey”. What I didn’t tell honey is that I fell up the stairs (don’t ask- I had hangover related coordination issues that morning) geting back to her. I unlocked the first door and there was Honey standing, bum to the corner with the sweatshirt wapped around her front side. She of course asked “what took you so long?”. Needless to say I had to go back to bed for a few hours. Honey joined me, this time fully clothed. Just in case.