BeeCharmer’s Buzz

Lelo in Nopo was kind enough to send me a copy of this documentary. Honey and I watched it last night. I am still a little shell shocked from seeing it, please forgive my transgressions.

Two stories from 1992 (the year that ballot measure 9 was proposed and put to a vote in Oregon).

I was married with one baby (DD) I was trying desperately trying to be a grown up, doing all the “right” things. I was a registered Republican and generally had my head up my ass. I knew nothing of the battle for human rights that was taking place 35 miles south of where I lived. I was struggling with the feelings I was having towards my female friends but I was no homo! All straight girls have the same issues with close friends, or so I thought. I wasn’t happily married but I was in a stable environment which was the goal considering my precarious upbringing. I was so deeply in denial I might have been one of those crazed OCA’s trying to shove everyone back into the closet. Ugh the thought is sickening. Thanks to those who fought so hard to show that homosexuals were human beings and deserved the same rights as other human beings. Because of you, my coming out was relatively pain free. I came out in 1998 and by then I felt no disgust with myself for being gay, I was not afraid that people would consider me sub-human nor did I care if they did. My ease in coming out was most definitely connected to those who fought against ballot measure 9 and the closely related measures that were on the ballot in many other states, including my own. My sincerest thanks go to you all. May I someday be able to do the same for another lost soul.

In 1992, Honey was deeply closeted in a small rural town. She had one friend much older than her that was also a lesbian. She was Honey’s rock. She had been a lesbian a long time and was no worse for the wear. She wasn’t out, but only because of the safety issues surrounding being gay in a small conservative rural town. There was a very small lesbian community within this town, but no-one was officially out to the public. Then came ballot measure 9 which was beyond terrifying for the small lesbian community.

A small group of fair minded liberal citizens put together a protest of ballot measure 9. Honey’s friend attended the protest. The local newspaper was covering the event and asked Honey’s friend if they could interview her. She said yes but only if they could assure complete anonymity. They were happy to oblige. Honey’s friend then proceeded with the in depth interview, hoping she was doing good for the LGBT community.

The next day the article came out. Surprisingly there was a huge picture of Honey’s friend on the front page. The article went on to name her and give her home address, which was in a even smaller, more rural neighboring town. She had a small child at home and was overcome with fear for her and her daughters safety. Needless to say she was harassed and her home was vandalized. It was a scary scary time for her and for Honey- who was no doubt associated with her- a known homosexual.  A short time after the article came out Honey’s friend was fired from her job of 13 years. What a F*ing mess.

Two good things happened after this. Honey’s friend sued the local newspaper for revealing her identity as well as her address- and won! Also measure 9 was defeated thanks to the more heavily populated areas of the state. Thank Karma!

Ballot Measure 9- the documentary- is a fascinating look at our (hopefully) past. I recommend it to everyone interested in cilvil rights. It is available at Amazon.com for preorder and will be released on January 28, 2008.

This documentary is off the popcorn scale- it is an absolute must see.

I am passing my copy along to my conservative FIL who informed us last night that Mitt Romney is the best choice for President. It’s not his fault, he was born and raised in the small town described above. He only gets his information from AM conservative talk radio and the local paper. He just needs an education- my newest mission.

Thanks again to LeLo for sending me her copy. What an amazing gift.

Another one for busy overextended mama’s.

Each month Honey grab a cup of coffee and a smoke and venture into the garage where we have a table set up. It’s the monthly executive budget meeting. We divvy up our upcoming months worth of money into envelopes marked with categories such as groceries, home repair, car maintenance, everything down to toiletries. This is not stress free, but it makes the coming month run pretty smoothly as far as money is concerned.

These envelopes then contain our every known expense. We started this by keeping track of what we spent and where for several months. Every month gets readjusted according to the family’s wants and needs. Any extra money that comes in during the month goes to pay down our last credit card. When that’s done it will go to BB’s college fund. DD is set already but that’s a long story. We always stay one month ahead of our bills because Honey has an inconsistent income due to the type of work she does. The envelopes give us a plan to stick to for the month.

 If the kids want, let’s say, Slurpees and there’s no money left in the “entertainment” (Slurpees are not food) envelope then the answer is no. If we have already decided we wanted to use the money in that envelope to go to the movies, the answer is no.  They get an allowance for the extras. They are well paid for their help around the house. My kids are tight asses, they don’t spend there own money on wasteful things like Slurpees, they save for the big items that will surely get vetoed by the mamas, like let’s say uhhhh Halo 3 and Mac make-up. So no extra treats, no extra stops at the convenience store, no bad mama for not buying their (at that time) hearts desire. This is actually a huge stress saver in my house. Not having to argue the health implications of sugary snacks and not feeling guilty that I should indulge their every want is a huge weight off my mind.

Sometimes I get a hair brained idea about a new art project, a DIY project, a personal care item or the some current fashion that I am sure I will die without. If there’s money in the appropriate envelope, and it hasn’t already been committed, then I buy it. Otherwise I put it on the “to buy” list. It’s funny but rarely do  think the item is important the next month when the budget meeting occurs. Stress relief- that I didn’t add something to a credit card only to lose interest in it right away.

The kiddos are involved in budgeting also. They understand when we hound  them about turning out the lights or not throwing clean clothes in the laundry. They realize that every dollar spent on utilities is a dollar that can’t be spent on fun, their allowance or the all important king size boxes of pop tarts.. They are not perfect, they are normal kids, but their involvement makes life easier for me. They don’t argue as much about the little things if they know there is a dollar sign attached to them.

Lastly Honey knows how much we need each month to survive and thrive. She goes to work knowing she needs to stay at work until she has made that day’s quota. She doesn’t have to worry that she isn’t providing well enough for a family of 4- the proof is in the envelopes. Her left-brained need to know where money goes and how it benefits the family is taken care of at each budget meeting. Her stress levels have dropped significantly since we started budgeting. Her reduced stress reduces mine in multiple increments.

Now I know how much we can spend on just about every aspect of daily life. I know we are not going further in debt in the process of living it. It has become a game for me. I am the great bargain hunter of the family. I want to see how much money I can save,  to see how much will be left in the envelopes at the end of the month. ooooh what can I buy with the savings? The possibilities are exciting. I usually end up using it for some home improvement that wouldn’t get done in a timely manner otherwise. Another stress relief.

In so many ways these envelopes and budgeting has made our daily life less stressful and all of us a little more grateful.

I am dreading today. My first entomology lab is at 2pm. 4 more hours of uneasiness to go.

This is my second entomology class of my college career. The first one was all lecture. This one includes a lab. My problem with the lab is- In my adulthood I have developed the world’s weakest stomach. Today is grasshopper dissection day. As a child I use to catch and examine grasshoppers. Occasionally they would die in my care and I would look at their inside parts. I know what’s inside of a grasshopper and its not very pretty. In fact there are some pretty gross parts.

I told BB about my lab anxiety at dinner last night. He said ” As long as your lab partner doesn’t say ‘Where did this come from, I thought we only had one grasshopper’ after you throw up on the table, you’ll be OK” Which of course made me gag, twice.

Ugh- wish me luck.

**Update**

It was my lucky day. No dissection. No puking. I did, however, have to look at a large assortment of preserved insects. My skin is a little crawly. Millipedes, spiders and scorpions, Oh my!

and pork and lamb (No judgements please, it’s for the worlds best meatloaf).

I ordered from http://www.thunderinghooves.net/ and picked it up today.

For those of you in Seattle, there are a number of neighborhood buying clubs that offer local pick up.

For those in Portland and elsewhere- are you jealous? Probably not, but you should be. This is some great meat.

I’m thinking of trying the 100 mile diet this summer. Anyone care to join me?

http://100milediet.org/

I have been grasping at straws this week on subjects to write about. I read an entry by one of my Blog buddies about being overwhelmed. I totally “get” being overwhelmed. It happens to me about every 28 days. Lots of little things wriggle into my mind, then maybe a big thing or two, homework is due and the laundry is piling up, then the hormones hit- Whammy! The world is against me. I will never get to the bottom of my “honeydew” list. The kids are ingrates. X plans his life around making mine hell. There’s no food in the house. We are all going to starve before I have time to shop. I’m pretty sure my mother hates me and the dogs are obeidance school nightmares. Aaaauuuuuugggggghhhhhhh! Where’s the xanax? 

 Through budgeting I found a great stress reducer for busy mamas. I know meal planning isn’t a new concept, many mothers have used this technique to stretch the food budget. To me it’s all new. If I needed something at the store I just went and got it and probably a few more items I didn’t really need. I might have ended up at the  grocery store 3-4 times a week. I did some research on how to stretch my moderate food allowance and found many sites advocating weekly meal planning. I gave it a try. Here’s the first week, not a particularly health conscious week, but the first week all the same.

I know this is big, sloppy and out of proportion.  I just wanted it readable on one scroll. I’ve learned to be a little more legible when I do this. BTW, Honey wrote that on the bottom after she found out I saved over $100 on groceries that month. The menu planning worksheet is available at http://www.betterbudgeting.com/freeworksheets/menuplanner.htm

The first thing I did was grab a cup of coffee and put Melissa on the CD player. Then I listed every conceivable family friendly dish I knew how to make. It surprised me how few items are in regular rotation. I pride myself on being a very versatile cook. So I added a few that I knew would be iffie with BB, figuring he needs to expand his palate I picked pairs out of the list that had similar staple ingredients and listed what could be done ahead of time. I also listed what needed to be done for that night’s dinner so the kiddos could help out. After that I listed all the ingredients I would need to make all the meals seperately. Then combined the lists in the quantities I needed  for the whole plan. I checked off the things I knew were already in the house and then off to the grocery store. I actually started with two weeks worth of menu plans and did two weeks worth of shopping all at once. Time saver and stress reducer. I hate grocery shopping. The only things I needed from the store after that were some fresh fruit, milk and bread. I had Honey pick those up on the way home from work.

I know this is getting long… hang in there. Now after a few months I have a good rotation and ready made shopping lists. The kiddos say they love knowing what is for dinner all week. I am not rushed thinking of what to make every night. The plan is on the fridge so everyone knows what they can do to help out. The chopping and browning are done all at once for most of the week. There are good leftovers in the fridge for lunches and I save 75-100 bucks a month that goes to Honey and I getting a night out every once in a while.

Menu planning is a winner in my book.

Will Smith! Although I still think his wife is hotter.

We went to see “I am Legend” Saturday night.  I was expecting fun and lovable Will Smith battling nature which I supposed had taken over NYC. What we saw was freaking scary ass, night stalking, zombie people who had scary ass, night stalking, zombie pit bulls. Whoa! I did not see that coming at all. I watched the whole movie with my hands over my eyes, peeking through my fingers. I squealed several times which of course is not very butch. Honey was quite horrified that  had picked such a movie. She is likening it to the time I drug her to “Open Water”, which is the worst movie I have ever personally picked to go see. I think she exaggerating because of the shock induced by scary ass, night stalking, zombie people.

I don’t want to give away the story but in the ending scene something happens that is definitive. Honey pulls me closer and says “Why did he do that so early in the movie?” Uh I don’t know, I guess the movie will go on to explain this event. No, the movie was over. We had been a watching this movie for almost 2 hours and it felt like 15 minutes. That’s how action packed it was. Wow! I really liked the movie but I am going to have to give it 3 bags of popcorn because:

1. It was not what I was expecting.

2. There were a couple of scenes that were a little too Tom-Hanks-in-Castaway.

3. It was way too short.

4. An animal was injured. ( I can’t help it, I hate movies and books where kids, animals or even cute little aliens get hurt).

Besides all that, it was a great movie. If you are a Will Smith fan you’ll love it. There’s a  scene where Will is doing pull ups- my gawd the body on that man. I did however have a little trouble getting past the fact that in the movie he was graying quite a bit.. It made me feel very old. I can still sing “Parents Just Don’t Understand”like it was 1988. Ugh.

Last week I was lying in bed talking to Honey. She says “omygawd, what’s wrong with your eyes?” uh I don’t know I can’t see them. She proceeds to shine a flashlight in my eyes and turn the lights on and off to see how they reacted. One of my pupils was at least twice the size of the other and wouldn’t respond to light, like the other one. Hmmmmm. DD comes in to see what the fuss is about, Honey tells her. Again with the flashlight and flashing overhead light. Honey says “Is it always like that?” Uh, I don’t know. I don’t look at my pupils when I am applying mascara, I’m too busy trying not to gouge my eye out. DD pipes up “I’ve noticed it before”.

Honey rushes to our most favored diagnostic tool, the Internet, and is too disturbed by what she has read to research the alternatives any further. I had a Dr.’s appointment already scheduled so I figured I’d mention it to him.

My appointment was today. I tell him about my pupils, which are now the exact same size. He has me do a series of movements to see if he can detect any neurological problems. I passed the test with flying colors. He says “well, you probably should have a cat-scan”. ugh I know that a cat-scan is going to be expensive with no insurance. I ask if it can wait until I can save enough to pay for it. He says “well, it’s going to go one of 3 ways. The cat-scan will come back fine, which is what I expect will happen or you have a terminal brain tumor, which a cat-scan or anything else won’t fix. Or it’s some kind of slow growing tumor, in which case you could wait until this summer for the cat-scan”.

When I get home I convey this story to Honey who only hears “terminal brain tumor”. What I was trying to tell her was that I feel perfectly fine and that the cat-scan could wait until we saved enough for me to get it done. I believe I must be the worst communicator on the planet. Now she is ticked because  I don’t want to put us 2000 in debt only to find out that it’s nothing. We have worked hard to get out of debt and live a comfortable one income existence. Besides the fact that I don’t want to have any test done that could possibly end up telling me I’ll be dead in 6 months. I’ve got too much sh*t to do. I was sticking to my guns about it…until

I am in the tub this evening and Honey comes in to talk about the damn cat-scan and low and behold she says my pupils are f*cked up again. I jumped out of the tub to look in the mirror and yes my left pupil is huge. I have now agreed to see another Dr. to tell me whether a cat-scan is necessary or not.

F*ck me!

I bought this book at the college bookstore. It was a “suggested reading” title for a class I am not even taking. Again my geekiness shows through as I bought allthe suggested reading for all classes starting with HORT, AG or CROPS. 

The first part of this book begins with explaining the “hows” and “whys” of government sponsored corn subsidies then attempts to follow one farmer’s field corn through the food system chain that leads to our dinner tables. I am only a quarter the way through this book and I can already tell you that I love, love, love it. It’s well written and easy to follow for the non-agriculturists and non-food scientists among us.

It takes a look at how corn is fed to the livestock (which goes against the cow’s natural diet) we eat and in every conceivable processed food we buy at the grocery store. So far it eludes to a connection between cheap surplus corn and our growing obesity problem in the US. Absolutely fascinating.

I was so inspired in the first 116 pages that I placed an order with our local beyond-organic meat producers. Grass fed beef, no antibiotics or hormones and pork with a vegetarian diet consisting of forage and not feed corn. I pick up my order on the 15th. What am I going to do with all the conventionally grown meat I have in the freezer? I suppose I could give it away, but alas I am too cheap for that. Meat is expensive. I guess I better wait to educate Honey and the kiddos until after the frezer is empty. I will just have to think happy thoughts and try to ignore the fact that I am eating….well…… I’m not exactly sure what. I just know it isn’t good and isn’t good for me. Ugh.

If you are interested in organics, sustainability, agricultural activism, let me know- I have tons of book and website recommendations.

 **Update** I am now half way through this book and it is still great. Pt. 2 of the book takes a look at organic growing as a philosophy and as a giant industry. even more fascinating.

…by the half a xanax I took before my dentists appointment. The appointment went well but Honey had to drive me there and home. I’m not sure I even remember most of it. When I got home I started dinner and laid down, just to rest my eyes.

Now it’s 4 hours later and no one’s around. Kids are in bed and I am assuming Honey went to work. It’s a weird feeling to lose time like that. I feel a little lost. Kids were kind enough to leave the dinner dishes for me to do. I guess so I wouldn’t feel left out of the entire evening. Aint they sweet?

Take the time to say hello, you have no idea how much I appreciate it.